When we talk about abuse, it’s easy to imagine it only happens to adults. The unfortunate reality is that unhealthy and abusive relationships can begin much earlier—sometimes as early as middle or high school.
Our team at Bridges Domestic Violence Center believes it’s critical to recognize the warning signs of teen dating violence and take them seriously. It’s not uncommon for teen dating violence to be minimized to “normal” teen drama, and it is crucial to bring awareness to its potential harmful impacts on youth development and their understanding of relationships.
What Is Teen Dating Violence?
Teen dating violence is a pattern of controlling, abusive, or aggressive behavior in a romantic relationship. Teen dating violence can be physical, verbal, or mental.
It might sound like:
- “If you really cared, you’d answer my texts right away.”
- “I don’t want you hanging out with them anymore.”
- “Don’t post that—people will think you’re trying to get attention.”
It might feel like:
- Feeling anxious every time your phone buzzes
- Being isolated from your friends or family
- Constant pressure to prove your loyalty to your partner
These experiences can be confusing, especially for teens who are still learning about boundaries, trust, and communication in relationships.
Why Is Teen Dating Violence So Harmful?
Teenagers are in a critical stage of emotional and social development. When abuse happens during this time, it can have lasting effects on self-esteem and has the potential to normalize toxic behaviors that may influence future relationships.
Many teens don’t recognize the signs of dating violence, or don’t feel safe telling anyone when it occurs. Shame, fear, and the pressure to appear “mature” or “in control” can keep them silent.
How You Can Help Spot It—and Stop It
Whether you’re a parent, friend, teacher, or teen yourself, you can play a role in identifying and addressing teen dating violence. Make a difference by:
- Talking openly about healthy relationships, consent, and boundaries
- Keeping an eye out for signs like sudden mood changes, withdrawal from friends, secrecy, or unexplained bruises.
- Asking questions in a non-judgmental way, such as “How do you feel when you’re with them?” or “Do they ever make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable?”
- Trusting your gut—if something feels off, it probably is
And most importantly: Believe them. Support them. Empower them.
Together, We Can Empower the Next Generation
Teen dating violence thrives in silence. But awareness sparks action, and action drives change. Whether you’re a teen in a relationship, a concerned friend, or an adult wanting to make a difference, know you’re not alone, and help is available.
If you or someone you know is experiencing dating violence, reach out. We’re here to listen, support, and help you or your loved one take the next steps toward safety and healing.
Want to learn more or get involved? Contact us today and join the movement to end dating violence at every age!